The Feedback Trap That’s Killing Your Podcast Growth

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Good morning podcasting Morning
Chat.

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Today is Tuesday, November 4th,
2025, and today we're diving

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into feedback as a creator.
The praise, the criticism, the

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chaos.
In between, we'll talk about

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choosing what helps your work
and how to tune out all of the

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rest.
So if you're listening live on

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Clubhouse, hit the share button
on the left hand side of the

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screen and share it However
Clubhouse lets you.

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And if you're listening via
podcast or YouTube, please share

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this with the fellow podcaster.
And now give me about 30 seconds

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and we'll get things rolling.
Thanks for being here.

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Good morning again podcasting,
morning chat.

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Thanks so much for being here.
I am your host Mark Ronik and

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currently on stage with me.
My Co hosts we have Ashley

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Feller, Phil Better, Sid
Meadows, Dr. Faye and Nick

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Nullback.
We'll see who else joins us from

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the cast and crew throughout
this morning.

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Thank you.
Although he's not here, thank

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you to Jonathan Howard for
holding down the Fort yesterday

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and leading the charge on Monday
morning.

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And I know he broke down
Smartless and what makes them an

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obsession worthy podcast.
I hope you guys got a lot out of

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that.
I've listened to some already.

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I was driving home yesterday
from Indiana University.

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I was visiting my stepson over
there and it's a great time to

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go visit Indiana University when
the college football team is 9

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and O for the second consecutive
year.

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I think a first or that school
to hit 9 and O2 years in a row.

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And I think they are currently
ranked #2 and great to spend

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some time with my stepson as
well.

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And let me tell you, if you can
ever take a ride from Asheville,

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NC to Bloomington IN in late
October, I highly recommend you

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do it.
I don't know if you anyone saw

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my TikTok, my Instagram.
I posted a brief, some brief

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footage about a minute or so
driving through the mountains in

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this fall season.
It was like nothing we'd ever

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experienced before.
I know I'm not talking about

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podcasting.
Bear with me because it was

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truly a breathtaking moment for
us.

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The oranges, Reds, and yellows
being surrounded everywhere we

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looked was it was magical.
I don't know how else to say it.

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I know that might sound a little
cheesy, but it was absolutely

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beautiful.
I'll maybe Ashley, I'll give you

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a link that we can put in the
show notes so people can see

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what I'm talking about because I
can't do it justice with words.

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All I can tell you is we
literally kept saying we've

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never experienced anything like
it.

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It was really like driving
through a painting at one point.

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I think I told my wife, I feel
like we're driving in

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Thanksgiving right now.
You couldn't deny the fall

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season.
So I encourage you, if you're in

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the area, do it.
We're planning on making it a

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yearly tradition now.
Even though my son's going to be

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graduating this spring, we're
going to still make that ride,

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at least some of it, because it
is just unbelievable.

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OK, enough of that.
So thank you to Jonathan for

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holding down the Fort.
I know that live there were some

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technical difficulties.
And kudos to Ashley for putting

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it all together as a podcast
episode that really went very

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smoothly.
If you listen back to the

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episode, you would never know
it.

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So kudos to you, Ashley.
Before I dig in, want to remind

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you on Thursday we are going to
be doing another podcast

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evaluation.
And please forgive me moderators

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for not giving you an earlier
heads up.

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I will send you all the info,
the form that you fill out to

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help guide you through the
evaluation process so that we

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can have a really constructive
conversation on Thursday.

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Phil, I believe this is your
client.

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We do have others, but you have
a client that was interested in

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doing this.
So tell us a little bit about

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this client who we're going to
be evaluating.

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Thank you, Mark and good morning
podcast morning crew.

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It is feel better the podcast
mogul still enjoying his bed,

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but still here helping you out.
The podcast is my client Karina

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Groombridge.
She is a service based business

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owner coach for lady
entrepreneurs, mainly moms

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entrepreneurs and she's looking
for help.

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Her podcast is called You are
Your Biggest Asset and she is

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looking to help with her stories
from herself and her clients.

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Help you as a service based
entrepreneur business owner

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become a better version so you
can grow your business and enjoy

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the life you deserve because you
are your biggest asset.

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Thank you, Phil.
Yeah, and I've just shared a

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link.
We will put this in the show

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notes for our audience in case
you, the listener want to hear

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this episode.
We'll be evaluating.

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We'll also evaluate kind of from
top to bottom, not just one

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episode.
We'll also talk about her

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branding, her title
descriptions, etcetera.

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And we're at the episode we will
evaluate is episode 42.

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Want five extra hours in the
week?

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Well, that alone makes me want
to listen to it.

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So there you go.
And I said, there you go again,

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my crutch word.
Anyway, let's keep things

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moving, shall we?
I want to start with an

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icebreaker before I really dig
into today's topic.

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So without any major set up
other than the intro when you

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first pressed play this morning,
what's your go to ritual when

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you need to shake off any kind
of negativity?

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Now I know I've set this up so
your head may be going right to

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negative feedback, trolls on
social media, etcetera.

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And that's fine, that can be it.
But really, in general, I'm

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curious, what do you do when
you've got a lot of negativity

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that you're dealing with and you
need to refocus, You need to get

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out of that mindset and back
into whatever the game is for

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you in that moment.
I see Ashley is first to chime

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in.
Let's go to her.

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Good morning, Ashley, and thanks
again for your help yesterday.

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Good.
Morning.

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So I'd say my go to is find some
humor.

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I usually try to find something
to make myself laugh.

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I'll watch some comedy, or I'll
listen to a funny song, or

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better yet, I'll try to write a
song that has comedic elements

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to it.
I usually try to combat

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negativity with humor.
I like it.

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And maybe Sid, you can jump in
for a second because I'm going

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to play somewhat of devil's
advocate.

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And I know this is where my mind
sometimes goes.

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And I'm going to Sid because Sid
is a coach as well as several

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other things.
But I am going to go to Sid and

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then we'll check in with Jeff
and I see some others want to

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chime in, Sid, where my head
goes when someone like Ashley

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says I try to combat it with
humor, it sounds really good to

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me.
And when something is pushed me

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into negativity, sometimes
that's hard for me to do.

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So I'm curious as our resident
coach here, what would you say

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to me about that?
And good morning to you.

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And good morning.
So anything that you want to do

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to get yourself out of this funk
or to get rid of this negativity

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that's in your head because it's
in your head, right, is a good

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thing.
For me, I listen to music.

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It's one of the thing I have a
playlist called Pump Up Songs

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that I go to whenever I'm
feeling down or something bad

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has happened or I hear I have a
negative review or something

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like that.
So I listen to music because

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it's exciting and get your blood
flowing.

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But I think the first thing you
have to do is actually just deal

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with it for a minute.
Like take like a minute and deal

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with the what you've been,
what's been said to you or done

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to your whatever the feeling is.
And I like to reflect a lot.

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I had something happen last week
that was very unexpected and it

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had a bit of a negative
connotation to it.

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And I did a ton of reflecting.
And I do this with my walk.

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That's the best time for me to
really clear my head.

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And I was listening to a podcast
and I was reflecting and I

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stopped listening to the podcast
because I'm like, this is just

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noise in the background.
So I think just taking time to

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like reflect on it, deal with
it, understand it, and then move

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into whatever is going to get
you out of it.

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Like what's going to get you out
of this fuck?

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What's going to get you out of
this negative place?

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Whatever that is, if it works
for you, That's all Ralph said

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he his prayer for him, Ashley is
comedy, me is music.

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Whatever it is that you do, then
do that.

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But I think you do have to take
a minute and deal with it and

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reflect on it.
I like that.

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Thank you, Sid.
I think that is that's an area

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for me that I continue to work
on.

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I'm strengthening that ability
to just allow it because I think

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instinctively I want to just
either suppress it or pretend

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it's not happening.
And that does mean no good.

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I think another thing to
remember is you need to ask

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yourself the questions like what
role did I play in this?

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What could I have done better?
What should I do differently?

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Because I can't change you,
Mark, and you can't change the

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person that provided the
negativity in the moment to You

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can't change them.
The only thing you can change is

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you and how you respond to
those.

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So do a little bit of reflection
about what role did I play?

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Who am I, what could I have done
differently?

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And don't internalize it because
the other thing that and the

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thing that I learned through the
situation last week is I don't

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know what that persons going
through.

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I don't know what's happened to
them in their life.

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I don't know what's going on in
their business.

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I don't know what put them in a
place to, let's call it lead

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with negativity.
I can seek to understand that.

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I can try to figure out that
just a little bit by asking

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questions of other people or
thinking about the conversation

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a little bit.
But end of the day, I never

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really know what's going on with
that person.

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So you can't internalize it so
much and make it all about you,

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but think about what you could
have done differently or what

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you should have done
differently.

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So just like, take a moment if
you will.

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Thank you, Sid.
One thing that helps me is

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changing my scenery and
preferably to outdoors.

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I think when I go outside, you
know, we're lucky enough to a

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mile away from our house, we
have a hiking trail that has

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waterfalls and you're walking
through the mountains.

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So it's hard to remain in that
negative space.

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But I think even more so doing
that and walking with somebody

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or talking with somebody if they
can't physically be there, just

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to allow yourself to vent and
then process.

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At least for me, that that seems
to help.

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I think once I go through that
whole process I just laid out

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for you, I tend to, once I get
back and sit down at my desk,

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well, first of all, I'm able to
come back and sit down at my

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desk.
I now have that more of that

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motivation again and I'm able to
reframe, refocus.

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Let's keep things moving.
I saw several people wanted to

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say something.
I'm going to go to Jeff and

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while I'm doing that, maybe put
a one in the chat.

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If you want to speak up on this
first question here about how

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you shake off negativity, put a
one in the chat because this

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way, then I can see you.
I can make sure I get to you as

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opposed to remembering by an
emoji that you're flashing on

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the screen.
Thank you, Dr. for setting the

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trend.
With that, I'm going to go to

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Jeff, who's joined us on stage.
And Jeff, it's been a minute

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having you up here on stage.
Welcome back.

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Good morning to you.
What did you want to add to

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this?
Did you want to answer the

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question?
We were just talking about how

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you might change your scenery,
you might go for a walk.

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When you first asked the
question, you asked what is our

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ritual?
And ritual, by definition, is

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not changing something.
A ritual is a series of things

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that you do the very same way to
put yourself in a particular

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place.
You can think of it in terms of

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religious rituals, which is why
you always say the prayer the

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same way.
You always go through the steps,

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the procedures the same way
because that's kind of supposed

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to, to put you back in the place
they're trying to put you in.

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Baseball is the same.
You know, you'll see the guys go

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00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,000
up to the plate and they'll tap
their left shoe first, then

228
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their right shoe, then they dust
their hands off.

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Then all of that is, is an
effort to put you back in the

230
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,960
place that you have found a path
to, which would be the opposite

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00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,000
of changing everything up.
So, and the thing it brought to

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mind for me was course, we've
been very busy with Maddie True,

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00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,520
the artist that I work with
because she's got a current

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00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,240
single that's, you know, active
on the independent charts right

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now.
We've been pretty busy with

236
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,240
that.
But we also host together a

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radio show that we record in
advance that airs every weekend.

238
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And the intro for that radio
show is the same script, the

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00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:03,520
same setup that we do every
week, even though we are setting

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00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,840
up the first song of the
countdown, which the song will

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00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,080
be different, but the setup is
always the same.

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00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,960
And we could just record it and
reuse that same setup every

243
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:19,080
week.
But we don't because even though

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00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,040
we might be talking about other
things before we start the

245
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,240
recording process, we might be
talking about her single.

246
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,480
We might be talking about other
stuff that's going on, good,

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00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,120
bad.
We might be arguing about

248
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,200
something because we've got
different ideas about where we

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00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,960
want to go with a particular
thing.

250
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,120
When we get ready to start
recording the show, go through

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00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:43,280
that same intro, you know, the
same music, same verbiage,

252
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:48,760
exactly the same.
Because it kind of sets up what

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00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:53,040
we are getting ready to do and
it helps kind of clear out some

254
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:57,520
of the noise that preceded that.
So that's what we do.

255
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,640
That's one of the things I do.
To the original point of the

256
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,360
question, what is the ritual to
kind of get our head right?

257
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,000
Thank you, Jeff.
I appreciate that.

258
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,440
Yeah, kind of a different spin,
a different take.

259
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,920
I mean, I was specifically going
to how do you shake off the

260
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:17,080
rituals, the how that you used
to shake off specifically

261
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:21,480
negativity, but I still
appreciate that take just as far

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00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:26,080
as how you guys kind of get into
that positive mind frame going

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00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,680
into starting your show.
And that's and just to be make

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00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,120
sure I'm clear, is that what
you're explaining?

265
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,040
Like I don't want to twist your
words if I'm wrong.

266
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:38,040
Oh yeah, no, that is and that
does address, I mean to your

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00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:42,120
point of addressing negativity,
it it addresses distraction, it

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00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,200
addresses negativity.
I mean, that's, that's why if a

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00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,400
particular baseball player, you
know, typically steps up into

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00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,240
the box and then back out and
then back in, that's why that

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00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,600
happens because no matter what
you walk into that process with,

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00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,960
which is negativity or
distraction, whatever, it's a

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00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,640
tool of focus.
And and that's where, you know,

274
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:10,520
I mean, certainly in the example
I gave, we have used that to

275
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,120
just kind of center ourselves
and remind us what we're doing.

276
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:18,120
But it has also served when on
that given day, it has been us

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00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,440
kind of talking about something
negative.

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00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,200
It's like, OK, we got we got to
tune that out.

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00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,720
We got to record the radio show.
And, and because we've already

280
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,280
kind of got that in place,
because it's already a habit and

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00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:34,120
was created as a habit, as a
ritual before it was negative,

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00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,360
we were not having to say, well,
what are we going to do to get

283
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,600
out of the negativity?
We've already created the

284
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,240
ritual.
Therefore it is there as a tool

285
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,920
when things are negative.
Yeah, it's.

286
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,000
Preemptive.
And that's why rituals exist.

287
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,360
Yeah, preemptive to negativity.
I like that.

288
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,000
Yeah.
And you used the baseball player

289
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,240
reference.
And I guess because it's

290
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:57,720
football season, I see that so
much as particularly with

291
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,880
kickers, the ones kicking the
field goals, right?

292
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,640
They I, they always have
multiple rituals that they're

293
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,800
doing to stay focused, to get
all the negativity out of their

294
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,240
head, to get the distractions
out of their heads.

295
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,599
Yeah, I think that's a great
example and a great way to deal

296
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:16,720
with negativity.
It's like I said, it's pre

297
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,200
emptive.
So yeah, I appreciate that.

298
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:23,359
And I'm going to keep it moving
and go to DRDR. Good morning.

299
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,400
Thank you for putting the one in
the chat for my request and go

300
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,600
for it.
What do you got for us?

301
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,160
I'm with Ashley.
I go for the funny 1st and then

302
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,520
I go for I don't even know if
there's a word for it.

303
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,800
It's beyond interesting.
For me, it's more like

304
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,560
fascination.
Like I'm fascinated by octopus.

305
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:49,040
What's the what's the plural of
octopus?

306
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:55,600
I'm fascinated.
By I'm fascinated by that I'm

307
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,360
fascinated by.
You know, magnet fishing when

308
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:03,840
they bring up all the stuff I'm
so there's those fascination

309
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,520
videos that I go to and
especially the comedy videos.

310
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,920
I have very specific channels
that I have for those and so

311
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,480
those are my go.
TOS.

312
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,280
I like that.
So you'll watch something or

313
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:19,800
take in some content that takes
your mind off of the negativity.

314
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,640
I think that's similar to Sid,
right?

315
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,640
Like Sid, it's music, but yours
it's, you know, maybe video as

316
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,760
opposed to music.
Very cool.

317
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,960
Thank you.
And thank you to Matt who has

318
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,720
who has told us it's octopuses,
not octopi.

319
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,400
Thank you, Matt.
Appreciate it.

320
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,200
And Nick, you got something for
us.

321
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:39,760
Go ahead.
Actually.

322
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,600
Have a question to kind of stack
on to the sure, just sit and be.

323
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,240
Are both kind of through similar
answers out there.

324
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,000
I agree.
Taking yourself out of the

325
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:55,160
situation for a minute to regain
focus, wipe the slate clean, do

326
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,160
all that.
But eventually you're going to

327
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:02,640
have to address or confront
whatever this is.

328
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,080
And I don't mean confront by
like confront the person

329
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:09,560
necessarily, but the situation
personally or through reaching

330
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,760
out.
So at what point do you say, OK,

331
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,760
I am in a good headspace to do
this?

332
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,480
And two, how do you approach
that?

333
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,880
Yeah, it's a really great
question, Nick.

334
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,600
And I will say that, you know,
not everything deserves a

335
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:27,040
response and no action actually
is action.

336
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,120
So if you get a negative review
about your podcast, A1 Star

337
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,440
review, and then somebody's
hating on you with their review,

338
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:40,080
you don't have to respond to it.
You can read it, try to see if

339
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,120
there is a lesson in there for
you.

340
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:47,160
Is there something that you can
improve, but you don't have to

341
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,560
address it.
You don't have to respond to it

342
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,200
in the situation when in a
different situation.

343
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:57,200
Like I reached out to somebody
and that I hadn't talked to in

344
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,160
June and a couple months went by
and I reached out to him, said,

345
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,120
hey, I'm ready to pick up if you
want to.

346
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:06,200
Let's pick up this conversation.
And his reply was very negative.

347
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,400
And there's something along the
lines of I'm not in a place to

348
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,200
continue the conversation or
something like that.

349
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,200
It was the way the whole thing
was written was really negative.

350
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:20,080
And I read it and I thought,
that's really strange.

351
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,080
I thought about it and then I
thought, you know what?

352
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,560
This doesn't deserve my reply.
And so I didn't reply to it.

353
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,160
I didn't like the text message.
I didn't part the text message.

354
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,360
I just didn't do anything.
I talked to a friend about it.

355
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,840
I phoned a friend.
That's what I like to say.

356
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,560
I phoned a friend about it just
to be able to get off my chest.

357
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,240
Like what the heck is this?
And then I just let it go

358
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,760
because sometimes the best
action is no action and just let

359
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,320
it go.
You know, just you don't have to

360
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,840
respond to everything.
Now, if it's business related,

361
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,320
like the situation that happened
last week when we had a meeting

362
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,040
with somebody and we thought the
meeting was really well and I

363
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,560
did a follow up e-mail as we
agreed.

364
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,120
And then his response, I have
lots of thoughts about his

365
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,200
response was lasting us full of
negativity.

366
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,160
And you know, it was a basically
he was a hard no, but he had a

367
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,720
lot of colorful words to go with
it.

368
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,760
So I've reflected on it.
I reflected on the meeting.

369
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,920
I thought to like what happened,
What did we say?

370
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,200
I talked to my colleague about
it.

371
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,200
We talked to somebody else about
it.

372
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,600
I talked to three people about
it and I still haven't responded

373
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:27,720
to it because I'm going to today
respond to it, but I'm going to

374
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:32,320
respond to it completely
opposite of the way that he

375
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,000
responded to us.
I'm going to lead with kindness.

376
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,120
I'm going to lead with sorry you
feel this way kind of thing

377
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,400
like, but I'm going to
completely change the tone of

378
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,600
the conversation and then ask
for an in person or a virtual

379
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,760
meeting for us to continue the
discussion because what we're

380
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,600
talking about is important to
all of us.

381
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,120
And so you took a minute, I
reflected, I phoned a few

382
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:59,440
friends and then I'm going to
lead the with the actual the

383
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,160
exact opposite of what he did,
which was Nick.

384
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,600
He was negative.
I'm going to lead the

385
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,400
positivity.
Thank you, Sid.

386
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,840
Matt, I saw you had your hand up
while Nick was asking the

387
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,320
question.
So I'm not sure if it's about

388
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,000
the question or you had
something else, so go for it.

389
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,360
Good morning.
I was just going to basically

390
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,280
say what Nick said at some
point.

391
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,160
The idea that like we have ways
to deal with getting the

392
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,040
feedback, but eventually you
have to approach it somehow.

393
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,360
And I think Sid covered it
pretty well there.

394
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,560
I myself would have something
similar where, you know, you get

395
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,560
a little bit of it and you sit
in it for a bit and you go, oh,

396
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:41,640
well, you know, thanks, buddy.
And then you start to institute

397
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,280
a process of processing it.
Like you ask yourself, what is

398
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,960
this actually telling me?
What is this person saying about

399
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,880
this specifically?
How does this actually adjust my

400
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,920
processes?
What should I be taking from

401
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,760
this, if anything at all?
And does it require a response?

402
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:01,360
Like Sid, I'd say that if you
haven't responded yet and

403
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,880
there's nothing constructive to
respond with, then this whole

404
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,080
idea of ghosting people is
ridiculous.

405
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:14,280
The young children don't
dictate, I think, what we say to

406
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,840
other people when things must be
said.

407
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,920
Like it's the reason that they
complain about parents typing OK

408
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,600
in a text message as a response
to acknowledge something.

409
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,040
A lot of people these days
aren't acknowledging stuff.

410
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,880
So, you know, whether you
respond or not is also a part of

411
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,000
the question for that.
But the key, I think, is having

412
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,800
a means by which to, when you
come back to the comment, to

413
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,160
deal with it the way that you
deal with it best.

414
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:44,160
And I know for me, my
philosophical objectivity allows

415
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,160
me to sit back and stare at it.
And, you know, some days you

416
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:52,000
just have day days or weeks of
pure chaos where you're like,

417
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,640
OK, tell me a bit more, pal,
what's going on with this?

418
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:01,240
And why didn't you say this?
I'm, I'm having a couple of days

419
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,000
of that at the moment.
The processing of it and finding

420
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,680
out what's actually valuable for
you and whether there's value in

421
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,360
dealing with it, That I think is
the major key.

422
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,120
Thank you, Matt.
And I'm going to go to Ralph

423
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,560
because I know Ralph has been
waiting patiently as well.

424
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:15,840
Go for it, Ralph.
Good morning to you.

425
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,360
Good morning, everyone.
Yeah, I'm going to take a little

426
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:22,640
bit different approach.
I take a place of prayer 1st and

427
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,840
I say, you know what, pause for
a second, whatever the

428
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:28,160
negativity is going on.
And I just pray and I say, look,

429
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,080
God show me in this what my
lesson is for this because it's

430
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,840
real easy to emotionally
respond.

431
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,800
And I think that's what gets a
lot of us in trouble.

432
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,680
It's real easy to just reach out
in the motion and just attack,

433
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,240
right?
That's that's a real easy thing

434
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,160
to do.
But I think a better plan is to

435
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,120
pray about and say, you know,
Lord, what is it you're trying

436
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,720
to show me in this?
And when you do that, and then,

437
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,840
then the second thing I would
say is to have a heart of

438
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,760
gratitude because the truth is,
if somebody reaches out and

439
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,760
shares feedback with you,
there's a book out there called

440
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,800
A Complaint is a Gift.
And I'm going to tell you right

441
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,000
now, it's a book that will
change the dynamic of how you

442
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,440
think of things.
Because if somebody actually

443
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,200
takes the time to make a
complaint or make some feedback,

444
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,120
that's a gift to you, they still
have, they want to do something

445
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:08,680
to help.
You just have to try to reframe

446
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,480
it.
So that that's my view is start

447
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,800
with prayer and then look for
something to be grateful for.

448
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,280
Look for something to be
thankful for, because once you

449
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,960
change that emotion, you can't
live in negativity once you're

450
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,720
grateful for something.
Thank you.

451
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,280
And that is scientifically true.
Thank you, Ralph.

452
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,440
Yes.
You can't be both.

453
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,480
If you're genuinely showing
gratitude, if you're feeling

454
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,120
grateful, you can't stay
negative.

455
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,920
So I appreciate you saying that
and I appreciate your approach,

456
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,880
prayer.
And for some that may not

457
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,040
resonate, and that's fine.
Maybe meditation is the word for

458
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,800
you and if that doesn't resonate
with you, maybe it's simply

459
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,640
finding a quiet place and
sitting quietly asking those

460
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,840
same questions that Ralph shared
as prayer.

461
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,640
Ask yourself those questions and
and then sit quietly and listen

462
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,160
what comes up for you.
That's very powerful.

463
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,000
Thank you, Ralph.
Appreciate that.

464
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,560
Chris, I'm going to come to you
and then I want to shift gears

465
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,440
because we're talking so much
about the how, right?

466
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:14,280
And sometimes we don't know the
difference between where we may

467
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,240
not think we know the difference
between constructive feedback

468
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,000
and someone just simply trying
to tear you down.

469
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,800
So I want to talk about that
too.

470
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,600
But first, let me check in with
Chris.

471
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,560
Chris, good morning to you.
Welcome to the stage.

472
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,800
What did you want to add to
this?

473
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:31,240
I used to work as a hotel
receptionist, and somebody told

474
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,040
us this story, you know, where
the customer comes up to the

475
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,120
hotel manager and says it'd be
nice if we just sold the Wall

476
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,520
Street Journal here.
So he gets one of those

477
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,160
newspaper, you know, newspaper
machines, you know.

478
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,680
Yeah, put some Wall Street
journals in it.

479
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,800
The next day he notices all the
Wall Street journals are gone.

480
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,440
And the whole point is this
story is for every customer that

481
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,240
complaints, there are 10
customers who don't complain.

482
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,480
Lots of people wanted to buy the
Wall Street Journal, but only

483
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,880
one customer came out and said,
I'd like to buy the Wall Street

484
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,160
Journal.
A lot of times people do do

485
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,480
complain if they care.
But, and you know, I have to say

486
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,320
too, though, we, we live in a
world more and more where maybe

487
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,840
it's just the people I hang out
with because I deal with so many

488
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,600
people who cannot take good
faith criticism.

489
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,440
They simply cannot take it.
I think it's more and more

490
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,960
because so many people are just
phoning it in.

491
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:25,480
So when somebody actually does
care enough to complain, or care

492
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,760
enough to point out something
that can be done better, they

493
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,840
simply don't want to hear it.
Yeah, I'm with you there and

494
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,920
please forgive me.
Let me keep things moving.

495
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,200
I and Speaking of Let them, I
see Janae just as just as you

496
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,680
said that Janae was sharing that
the book Let them also has

497
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,480
really powerful lessons around
this too.

498
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,680
So yeah, check out that book.
I know Sid and I are both fans

499
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,080
of that book.
And again, thank you, Chris.

500
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,320
Appreciate you.
I saw Matt wanted to say

501
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,160
something while you were
speaking, so let me check in

502
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,520
with Matt.
The comment I wrote about what

503
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,240
Chris was saying there is that
the complexity of what he's

504
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,360
saying is a compilation of
information bubbles, the

505
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,800
prioritization of the
individual, and a lack of

506
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,800
critical thought.
It's our world now.

507
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,800
That's another episode for a
different show.

508
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:14,240
But his frustration, I see the
patterns in why it happens.

509
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,520
But while it doesn't necessarily
what he said, address what how

510
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,640
to deal with negative feedback,
the fact that it does happen is

511
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,240
an absolute truth.
And I think maybe for another

512
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,960
time, if we got like a free
Friday or something, maybe

513
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,120
explained a bit about it, yeah.
Absolutely.

514
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,520
I would love to do that
characterize it.

515
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,760
Absolutely, yes.
Thank you, Matt.

516
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:39,720
So how do we tell the difference
between someone giving you

517
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,120
constructive feedback and
someone trying to tear you down?

518
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,440
Because to Chris's point and
what?

519
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,560
And some of the others here,
sometimes people just instantly

520
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,920
take it as, oh, you're just
trying to tear me down.

521
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:55,000
Oh, you're just being negative.
How do you know other than if

522
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,840
they're just sitting there
telling you, you know, calling

523
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,760
you names and being nasty for
the sake of being nasty?

524
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:05,720
I think for the most part that
can be obvious or obviously not

525
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,440
constructive.
But how do we know?

526
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,200
Or is it just a matter of what
you said?

527
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,400
It's really just pausing,
stopping, thinking about how

528
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,200
this might help me.
Is that the answer?

529
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,600
It's always a good approach,
right?

530
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:25,120
But I think it's also important
to remember that if it's written

531
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,360
in somebody's writing, you know,
Mark, you suck, you're the worst

532
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,520
host ever.
You don't actually know what

533
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,400
their intention was behind
writing that.

534
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,840
So you do have to try to figure
out a little bit about what they

535
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,400
were trying to tell you.
And I like what Ralph said,

536
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,000
which is what's the lesson in
this for you?

537
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,440
Like, what can you take away
from this?

538
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,480
If if somebody said, hey, Mark,
I really enjoyed the show, but

539
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,920
you ramble too much when you're
talking.

540
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,600
I'm just making this up, right?
And so, Mark, you can read that.

541
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,160
You can read that and you could
like, OK, what's the lesson in

542
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,120
this for me?
Maybe you go back and you listen

543
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,440
to a couple of episodes and do
are you rambling, right?

544
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:17,000
How could you change what you're
doing in order to not say the

545
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,400
phrase that you always say,
right?

546
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,000
There's my phrase, right?
I say it all the freaking time.

547
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,880
But but I mean, look at what's
the lesson in this for you and

548
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,480
how can you?
And because I'm going to say it

549
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,280
again, you can't change anybody
and you can't change them.

550
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,880
You can't change their thought
processes.

551
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,840
All you can do is change
yourself and change how you

552
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,360
respond, and hopefully you
respond and not react when these

553
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,800
things happen.
Thank you, Sid.

554
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,080
I see Jeff wants to chime in as
well.

555
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,840
But thank you for that
explanation, Sid.

556
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:51,280
I think that's great insight.
And Jeff Floor is yours, Sir.

557
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,920
I think what we do is we don't
use their negative intent as a

558
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,240
way to deflect their quality
comment.

559
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:03,320
If somebody says you misspelled
your headline, you piece of

560
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:09,920
crap, I think the point is to
not dismiss the comment, you

561
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,120
know, I mean, certainly, you
know, you don't have to give

562
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,760
credence to the fact that you're
a piece of crap, but maybe still

563
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,720
go ahead and check the spelling
of the headline, you know, or

564
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:24,800
whatever that criticism can be.
Because if we dismiss the

565
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,920
comment, if we dismiss the input
because we don't like the

566
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,480
attitude, we're doing the same
thing.

567
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,520
We're being critical of them
doing, You know, they're coming

568
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,640
at us with an attitude.
Who are they?

569
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:40,480
And I think that's a different
way of, of reiterating what,

570
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,200
what Sid's saying.
You know, I, I still want to be

571
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:47,600
able to sharpen my tools, even
if they come from somebody that

572
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,160
might be mean spirited, that
doesn't mean that they're wrong.

573
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:56,040
Thank you, Jeff.
I'm with you there and Ralph is

574
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,960
saying in the chat here, it's
all about understanding where

575
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,520
they are coming from and
remembering perspective.

576
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,920
I agree with that.
And I'm curious then, what about

577
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:11,320
the negative feedback say on
reviews that we can't remove?

578
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:16,840
What if it was wrong feedback
for lack of a better way of

579
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,280
saying it?
What if the feedback had no

580
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,240
validity to it?
It was simply somebody just

581
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,600
ranting because they don't like
what you're talking about and

582
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,480
they've given you the 11 star
review.

583
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,040
I know that there are podcasters
listening right now that say,

584
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,640
yeah, what about that?
Because now that's, for lack of

585
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,880
a better term, permanently on my
record.

586
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,360
People are going to see that and
I can't.

587
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,280
And like on Apple, I don't think
we can always reply.

588
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,800
I don't think we can reply to
reviews.

589
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,040
So what do you do?
How do you handle that?

590
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,800
And I'll tell you, something
happened to me about 10 years

591
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:55,040
ago, my accounting practice,
someone left me a terrible

592
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,160
Google review.
And when I looked at, I was

593
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,760
like, this person has lost their
mind.

594
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,400
First thing I did was I got on
the phone with my marketing

595
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:02,520
person.
I was like, we got to get that

596
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,240
down.
He said, no, no, calm down,

597
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:07,280
Ralph.
He said first thing, a negative

598
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,280
review makes you look human.
And I said, well, that's

599
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,760
interesting because that's a
good point.

600
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,760
Because if all you see are
positive, positive, positive.

601
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,480
So he's going to say, wait a
minute, is there reality in

602
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,360
that?
Not everybody is going to think

603
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,480
you're the best thing ever.
Not everyone is going to connect

604
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,520
with your message, especially as
a podcaster.

605
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,760
That's OK.
What you want to do is appeal to

606
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,400
your audience.
If that person is not in your

607
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,560
audience and that's fine, let
them leave a negative review.

608
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,320
It is what it is.
You're not going to change it.

609
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,560
Work on 99 other positive
reviews and don't sweat the one

610
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,080
bad review.
Yeah, I like that, Ralph.

611
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,720
And to pile on to that, those
comments, let's say it's on

612
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,800
social media and you've posted a
clip of your show and somebody

613
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,560
is leaving you a real negative
review with real no validity to

614
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,800
it.
I know that instinctively we

615
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,640
want to delete those, but I tend
to keep them up because it's

616
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,320
another comment.
It's helping the algorithm.

617
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,160
Sometimes I might even say, hey,
thanks for your comment.

618
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,240
Thanks for continuing to push my
content forward.

619
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,159
Yeah, I'm just going to say, as
a Christian podcaster, I get

620
00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:11,000
negative comments on my YouTube
channel all the time.

621
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,360
I mean, you should see some of
the the heinous things that

622
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,520
people say to me and you don't
always say to them.

623
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:17,760
God bless you.
I appreciate your feedback and

624
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,440
thank you for interacting with
my show because now the

625
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,560
algorithm is going to serve it
to more people.

626
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,560
So I appreciate your help.
Yep, absolutely.

627
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,760
Hey, Mark, I'm coming to this at
this perspective also as a

628
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,800
novelist and Amazon will publish
ridiculous reviews.

629
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,560
And the worst thing is Amazon
will, you know, will publish A1

630
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,480
star review, say for a book.
And the review will say, well,

631
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,600
like, well, I ordered this book
and it showed up ripped or corn

632
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,199
or something like that.
They will slam the book because

633
00:34:46,199 --> 00:34:49,880
they had a bad customer service
experience, which may very well

634
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,760
be true, But why are you
shitting on this author and

635
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,760
making his ratings down?
I know a lot of other creative

636
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,240
people, for example, you know,
like some actors, they'll never

637
00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:01,600
read negative reviews and Amazon
needs to police the reviews

638
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,920
better as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, I feel that way about

639
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,680
Apple as well, Yeah.
And they used to allow more

640
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,160
responses, but they don't need
more.

641
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,240
And I don't understand why.
I do think one thing that would

642
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,920
help on reviews is if people
were allowed to, you know, rate

643
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,560
the reviews, you know, give the
review, you know, five stars or

644
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,360
one star.
And of course, and of course, 1

645
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,440
positive thing about Amazon is
they will separate reviews by

646
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,480
people who actually purchase the
product versus people who didn't

647
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,800
purchase the product.
You'll see people you know

648
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,960
wanting to slam a book even
though they clearly never.

649
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,400
Read it.
Yeah, that's a whole other

650
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,280
story.
I'm going to move on because I

651
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,920
see a couple other people want
to say something and yeah, great

652
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,920
question that happened.
I get that question a lot from

653
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,120
people.
I can't find where to review or

654
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,080
I can't read reviews.
Where are they?

655
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,880
They're kind of buried.
You have to, if you're using the

656
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,040
mobile app, you have to Scroll
down.

657
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,240
You just keep scrolling until
you eventually will see those

658
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:57,440
reviews there.
But it is not conveniently

659
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,480
placed.
I do like how Spotify does it.

660
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:03,760
They have their ratings toward
the top of the podcast page,

661
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:08,040
which is, I would say, helpful.
All right, Phil, I saw earlier

662
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,640
you had something and then I saw
Jeff had something as well.

663
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,920
So let's go to you, Phil.
Good morning again.

664
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,080
I'm just want to go off what you
you and Ralph were having a

665
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,760
little discussion about.
When I look at reviews, I always

666
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,400
look at the negative ones first
because I want to see what

667
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,360
people actually have an issue
with.

668
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,400
Majority of the time they're
just complaining to complain, so

669
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:35,920
there's no usefulness in it.
And having started to do that,

670
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,240
when I do get a negative review,
I look at it as like, where is

671
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,960
there an improvement to do?
So I look at if this person is

672
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:48,800
actually providing value in
their review of if there's

673
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,520
actually an issue, like does my
sound quality need work or is

674
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,640
this person just going, they
don't know how to talk.

675
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,200
You look at the negativity as if
you're reviewing for a product

676
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,080
and I want to know what's what
problems people have with their

677
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,400
products.
If they're there's an actual

678
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:10,120
genuine concern or are they just
trolling to bring down the stats

679
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,880
or the reviews because they
don't like the person or they

680
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,640
think they're a scam or
something and they're not

681
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,560
bringing any actual value to the
review.

682
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,520
That's how I always look at
negative reviews whenever I

683
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,600
receive it.
I look it as if I'm going to

684
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,880
purchase.
Are they providing value in

685
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,800
their review?
If they're not, then there's

686
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,280
nothing important about it and
you just move because that

687
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,400
person maybe just had a bad day.
Yeah, I definitely take those

688
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,880
types of reviews with a grain of
salt when I'm making my

689
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,920
decision.
I'm with you there.

690
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,280
And often times what I do when
I'm reading a review, whether

691
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,600
it's a product on Amazon,
whether it's a podcast, I like

692
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,960
to read and Amazon makes it
easier to do this.

693
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,000
I like to review the mid tier
reviews.

694
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,520
I like to see those five, I'm
sorry, those three out of five

695
00:37:56,520 --> 00:38:01,080
star reviews because those tend
to be, not always and they tend

696
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,600
to be more constructive.
I noticed that they're not just

697
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,880
sitting there slamming, they're
really giving genuine reasons

698
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:12,160
why they didn't include two more
stars on that review.

699
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:15,880
So I like to take that and
consider that as well.

700
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:20,560
And again, I can, I think I'm
pretty good at deciphering the

701
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,040
pure hate versus constructive
criticism, even if it's

702
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,880
delivered in maybe a not so nice
way.

703
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:28,960
Jeff, did you want to add
something?

704
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,000
Just a couple of thoughts 1 you
started out the question by

705
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,560
saying what do you do about the
things that you can't change?

706
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,600
I'm like, well, I think you've
kind of already answered your

707
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,480
question here.
And if you can't change it, you

708
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,120
know, you, you don't, you don't
dwell on it.

709
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,760
Now, I would say when you
respond to stuff like that,

710
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:54,040
that's unfounded, as if your
response is going to be

711
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,680
logically received when you
think it was an illogical

712
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,560
review.
The way I kind of view that, you

713
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,720
know, and I tell my guys this on
the road, it's kind of like

714
00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,560
being surprised when you get in
the face, hit in the face with a

715
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,320
golf ball, when you throw the
golf ball at a brick wall.

716
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:14,080
I mean, you can't be surprised
when it comes back and hits you

717
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,160
right with that.
So don't engage it.

718
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:21,080
Now, what, you know, what I
would do and, and what I try to

719
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:24,840
do is if I really get an
attitude about something like

720
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:30,760
that is I take my opportunity to
write a good review for

721
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,360
something that I think deserves
it.

722
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:36,160
Because, you know, does that
mean I'm going to get good back?

723
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:41,280
No, but it means that if I'm
complaining about somebody's bad

724
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,280
review, they should have written
a good review.

725
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:47,320
Have I taken the opportunity to
write a good review when I knew

726
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,880
something deserved it, but I
didn't take the time to do it?

727
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,120
But you don't always get good
back.

728
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,320
But I will.
At least if I go down that

729
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:59,120
rabbit hole, I'll at least try
to say, OK, this doesn't mean

730
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,480
I'm going to get a good review,
but it means I'm practicing what

731
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,480
I'm preaching and I'm doing what
I would hope somebody else would

732
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,680
do.
And whether I get it or not at

733
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,120
least.
I can feel like it's a little

734
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,160
more warranted, but don't throw
golf balls at brick walls.

735
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:17,320
Great advice.
Thank you, Jeff.

736
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,200
I was going to just trumpet that
because, you know, it's easy to

737
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,920
sit on the sidelines and not get
engaged and not get involved.

738
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,360
But if we all take a more
proactive and positive approach

739
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,160
and think about this for a
second, have you went out there

740
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,760
and listened to other people's
shows, the independent

741
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,320
podcasters?
Have you taken the time to write

742
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,440
a review for them?
Have you taken the time to

743
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,520
really connect with them?
And we all can.

744
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,280
We all can do that and try to
help each other out.

745
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,880
I don't expect to get anything
in return but and there has to

746
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,960
be some desire to go out and do
that for other people who are

747
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,400
struggling just like we are.
Thank you, Ralph and Jeff,

748
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,880
again, thank you both.
I appreciate those comments.

749
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,680
And Sid, you had something else
you wanted to bring as we're

750
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,160
getting close to wrapping up
today.

751
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:02,280
There are two things.
One of them is each and every

752
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,400
one of you do every day of the
week, including me in creating

753
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,560
content and putting out
podcasts, writing blogs,

754
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,200
creating YouTube videos,
whatever it is you're doing.

755
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,240
It takes a tremendous amount of
courage to put yourself out

756
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:20,080
there, put yourself in a place
that people can ridicule you,

757
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,400
that can provide negative
feedbacks and things of that

758
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,040
nature.
It's also a place that you can

759
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:29,920
have amazing impact on people.
Whatever your message is,

760
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,000
whatever you're saying, how
you're saying it, whoever your

761
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,560
audience is, right, you can have
amazing impact.

762
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,520
It takes so much courage to do
that.

763
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:39,840
I want you to have this
perspective for a second.

764
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,640
It takes 0 courage for somebody
to leave a negative review about

765
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,400
you.
It takes 0 courage for somebody

766
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,160
to say something bad about you.
They just do it.

767
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,400
It takes courage to stand up and
be seen and to say and do the

768
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,960
things that you're doing.
So be proud of the courage that

769
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,440
you have to try to make a
difference in the world.

770
00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:05,040
And don't let the naysayers stop
you.

771
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:08,520
Don't let them pull you down.
Don't let them prevent you from

772
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,880
impacting the life of one person
because that's why you're here.

773
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:15,040
You're here to make an impact.
You're creating content to make

774
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,280
an impact.
So lean into that courage to

775
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,800
keep doing what you do every
day.

776
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,320
I know that helps me a lot, Sid.
That helps me just from the

777
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:28,520
perspective of thinking about
the that there's no courage in

778
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,600
those hateful comments.
It doesn't take any courage for

779
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,080
them to do that.
Yet here we are, being

780
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,600
courageous every day or every
week, whatever the cadences of

781
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:41,240
your content.
Yeah, I that's, that really just

782
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:43,640
that's a good perspective shift
for me and I'm sure that's

783
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,520
helpful for others.
And you said you had two things.

784
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,520
Yeah, so the other thing is I
follow a guy on LinkedIn and

785
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:54,920
Liam, Liam Darty, Darmic,
Darmic, I can't say his last

786
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:56,520
name.
Anyways, I shared the link with

787
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:57,920
Mark so he could put it in the
Sonos.

788
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,800
Liam posted a screenshot of
something the other day and it

789
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,040
was the lady that said I am
canceling my gurus.

790
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,360
I think that's what I call it,
Grunes subscription before

791
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,840
receiving the product.
Why They sent me 13 emails

792
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,720
between me ordering and arrival
day today.

793
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,280
That's too much communication
for vitamins.

794
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,120
Who responded?
Who had the courage to respond,

795
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,960
to reflect, to think about this?
The CEO of the company.

796
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,440
And it was a thoughtful
response.

797
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,520
It's like, hey, Dang, I'm bummed
to hear this.

798
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,640
I take your feedback to the
retention.

799
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,400
I'll take your feedback to the
retention team.

800
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:40,680
Just checked your e-mail profile
and looks like the emails 7/7 in

801
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:45,960
which seven on my end showing
maybe Shopify separated sins

802
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,640
blah, blah blah.
Anyways, I'm not going to read

803
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,160
the whole thing.
You guys can check out the link,

804
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,760
but just the way he responded
and he and he ended it with hey,

805
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,680
DM me.
I want to see the 13 emails that

806
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,360
you've received so that I can
look into what this issue is and

807
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,320
solve this problem.
And I just think that that is

808
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:07,120
just to me, a master class and
how you can respond to negative

809
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:10,160
things, whether they're selling
a product, whether it's your

810
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:13,320
podcast you're playing, get a
negative comment on your blog.

811
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,640
Like, take a step back, think
about it, investigate it, look

812
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,360
at what you could do
differently, which is that what

813
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,240
this guy's doing is asking for
help.

814
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:24,400
Now, whether this lady continues
to buy from him, who knows,

815
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,120
right?
But just the fact that he leaned

816
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,880
into it and said, let me help
you.

817
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,600
I think it's just a great
example.

818
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,280
It's a wonderful example.
Thank you, Sid.

819
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,720
It.
It's an example of how we

820
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:39,720
respond and that and how much
that matters.

821
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,040
There's so many hateful comments
out there.

822
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:47,520
And as somebody pointed out
earlier, it's easy to respond

823
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,880
back negatively.
But I think it's those moments

824
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:56,920
when we respond thoughtfully and
share like this CEO did in

825
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:01,160
response, I think that speaks
volumes to an audience or a

826
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:04,240
potential audience.
We worry a lot about the

827
00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:09,280
negative feedback, but I think
maybe we should be more worried

828
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,560
about how do we respond to that
publicly.

829
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,640
If we've gotten negative
feedback publicly, how do we

830
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,760
respond to it?
And I and I think that goes back

831
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,800
to all of the lessons that we've
shared earlier, which, well, let

832
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,960
me just, yeah, let me just say
what this is what I've written

833
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,400
down as far as some of these
great points that we've heard.

834
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,160
Not all feedback deserves the
same weight.

835
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:35,720
Sometimes it's OK as Sid had
suggested, you know, he got that

836
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:40,280
negative feedback and he just
chose to let it go after he

837
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:45,360
vented and went through his own
tools to be more at peace with

838
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,840
it.
But he decided, no, I'm not, I'm

839
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:52,040
not responding right away.
We've also talked about that you

840
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,120
can respect opinions without
shaping your work around them,

841
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,200
right?
We, we can take in their

842
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:02,520
feedback for consideration and
we don't have to take it all in.

843
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:07,640
I think if we can ask ourselves,
is there validity to this point?

844
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,640
And if the answer is yes, then I
think that's where we can make

845
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:18,000
some changes if we so choose.
And although we didn't put this

846
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,080
term out there, I know we talked
about it.

847
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:25,280
It, it's protecting your peace,
right?

848
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,560
As a strategy.
In other words, setting

849
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,200
boundaries too.
When I say setting boundaries, I

850
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,520
mean understanding.
But maybe sometimes it's time to

851
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,520
stay off of social media for a
little while.

852
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:41,480
It's time to stop reading all
the reviews for a little while,

853
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,240
right?
If it's starting to eat away at

854
00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:48,880
you, I think taking a break from
it is helpful.

855
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:54,040
So the next time that you get
feedback, my suggestion is pause

856
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,480
before you react.
And that was the suggestion of

857
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,840
others.
Ask yourself, does this come

858
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,960
from someone who actually
understands what I'm building?

859
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:07,200
Is there something useful here
or is it just noise?

860
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:11,040
Use what helps you get better
and leave what doesn't.

861
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:16,200
That's how I stay focused.
That's how I keep creating on my

862
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,680
own terms.
And does that work every time?

863
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:22,120
No.
Sometimes the negativity or the

864
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,240
influence of what people are
going to think does creep in.

865
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,040
And usually that's where I start
struggling with my content when

866
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:34,920
I allow the noise to creep in.
So that's a sign for me.

867
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:39,480
If I'm struggling to make the
content, I stop and start asking

868
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,120
myself why.
And a lot of times it's because

869
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,680
I'm hoping that it's going to
land the right way, that people

870
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,000
are going to receive it well,
that it may be that it's going

871
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,400
to go viral, whatever that is.
But there are reasons for it.

872
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:59,640
And I think it's best to stop
focus on why you're doing this

873
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:04,400
content and less about who what
people are going to think.

874
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,920
How are they going to judge?
We're back tomorrow at 7:00 AM

875
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,880
Eastern.
We're going to be talking all

876
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,000
things news, podcasting news,
the headlines.

877
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,360
We will comment on things going
on around the world of

878
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,560
podcasting, content creation,
social media, etcetera.

879
00:48:19,720 --> 00:48:23,200
That affects you as a creator
and we'll talk all about them.

880
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,600
So come join us tomorrow again,
7:00 AM Eastern, live on

881
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,680
Clubhouse, live on Facebook, on
YouTube, on Chatter, all the

882
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,400
things.
We'll put it all in the show

883
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,800
notes for you so you can pick
which one you'd like to listen

884
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:40,120
in on.
So until tomorrow, make it a

885
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,640
great day everybody take care.